I’ve been given the opportunity to get into something that has the potential to be extremely amazing. In fact it’s an opportunity that I think I’ve wanted for a very long time now. But I’m nervous. Honestly I’m scared. Not scared of the opportunity per se but somehow scared that it may be a repeat of old. Scared that I may be stepping into something and get blindsided. Scared that somehow this messes up and then what? And I know that I may be scaring myself for no reason but it’s there. That nervous feeling of possible failure is there. And I wish I could venture into this without it…but I can’t.

Then Im afraid that my fear will spoil it….

For the past few months I have depended on food a lot. Not just eating it but have started back cooking and baking. Most times it has been happening when something is bothering me. So I make Fury Food!! Lol

Today I has some stuff on my mind and so decided to spend some time in the kitchen. I found a "cheesy bread" recipe from My Life on a Plate and decided to try that along with my usual banana muffins since I had some bananas there spoiling.

I followed the bread recipe to a tee. Changed nothing. It was amazing.

I then made some banana muffins. Another easy recipe (I'll post this recipe later as a separate post).

I've relied on music a lot over the years to get me through a lot of stuff, as I am sure most people have. A prime example is this mix done by my friend after he lost his Dad but it so happen to come for me at a point when I was really hurt and confused. Great Listen!!!





It can be downloaded here: Walshy Fire

I have gotten to the point where I feel like my life has been at a standstill for too long. I have had NO goals accomplished in the last two years (IMO) and for the first time in my life I feel like I am “wasting time”. Or that time is passing by and I’m just not getting on the train. Yes I am being crippled due to a few external factors but surely I must have something going on that will encourage me that some kind of forward movement is happening.

The last couple of weeks have really allowed me to focus on what I may need to do for some preferably upward movement, but in fact any kind of movement at all is welcomed. I have given myself two months for things to come together somewhat. Or for me to put things together as best as I can. My educational goals have been stunted half by myself and so I therefore need to get myself up and on that. I actually think that with that going on I wouldn’t feel like I’m failing. At least, that is ALL me. And if in two months there is no movement, then I think I start over somewhere else.

I really just wish the plans I have now would just come together: educational goals, relationship goals and other personal life goals. I’m ready for a settled, or as close to settled as possible, and consistent movement with my life. And no matter how I try to get things in place for that it seems to just fall on the side. And though I can’t control everything I really think I need to take the reins on what I can control and get on it. And let all the other unsure things fall to the side.