Sigh...It's carnival

In the past few years I have lived from carnival to carnival. The season for me started a few months after the other one ended. I started gathering the crew, asking about costume ideas, colours, forcing them to start to gather their down payment monies. I became the obsessed haggler. The person who just needed to hear "I think I want to play mas" and immediately you were included in the "crew" to be on the road. My students would be anxiously waiting to know what section Miss get into so that they can look for me on tv. My co workers would be moving my calendar from my desk and telling me to SHUT UP about the costume already. My mom would be covering her ears and my dad would be informing me quite strongly that he not going back to no mascamp again to collect no costume AGAIN. No one was left untouched.

This year, I quietly decided that carnival was out. Well I didn't have much choice really considering. How was I going to pay for costume and all the other things that accompany having a costume, fetes, plane tickets, outfits....? So it was out. And it was going well. No one else really was partaking as we all opted for a return in 2010. So there was no one important really to be jealous of on the road come Monday and Tuesday. I was doing good to suppress the feelings. Until today.

I'm getting anxiety attacks at the thoughts that on Monday I'll be laying in bed when I could be chipping on the road. I would not be decked off in some cute outfit drinking my money's worth of liquor and eating food. No camera flashing as we pose on anything that pass or see a friend that we only see on the road come carnival time. They'll be no cussin for people to hurry up we ready to leave. No laughing at who forgot to put on sunblock or who put on someone else's boy shorts. Sigh.... No meet super blue or wild ants. No Bacchanal... no tusty ....no sunburn....sigh....