Emotional Rollercoaster

So I found out something yesterday that really threw me for a loop. When i first saw it, I had to read it over like 10 times to really make sure what I was seeing was what was there. I was in SHOCK. I don't know why that was my initial reaction. I think I laughed for a bit in between but eventually the reaction was just SHOCK. Not a good shock either.

I sat and I thought about it. I didn't even respond to the initial comment really. I stepped back and I thought about it ALL night. I had a restless night and as soon as I turned over that was the thing on my mind. When I work this morning the shock was turned to hurt. I think that's what my real reaction was initially. Here was a situation that I as I thought about it I felt used. I didn't get the details. I didn't ask any questions. There was no whys, no explanation given. To me, I felt like it was a "just so you know" moment. I feel like my feelings weren't thought about in this situation. At points I question if I was set up. Does an "accident" happen on more than one occasion? Was it an accident? I have so much questions that I guess I need to get answered before I feel like I'm feeling. I feel betrayed kinda. As I write this it's sinking in some more. I want to ask someone if I'm over reacting, but I really am scared to explain what happened.

I just think that somethings are sacred to special people and my area was entered. And entered without my consent. I'm not sure if that is the main issue or the fact that it was just so slightly mentioned and just might not have been that sacred to others. I'm hurt though. And I didn't do anything wrong, I think. And why was this told to me now?

I don't know what to do next. I'm unsure how to feel. I think this may change how things are in a lot of situations. I kind of feel dirty, embarrassed, ashamed, hurt. I don't know how to feel. Lol.. can I say that again?! Sigh.

The one person I felt wouldn't hurt me....

Ok.. I see me heading into another emotion soon.....